Vindicated
by The-Files-Keeper
Summary: Before Voldemort heard of a prophecy, condemning Lily and James Potter, he had all OoP members followed. Severus Snape was assigned to Lily Evans and James Potter.


**Snape/Lily**

**This is before Harry was born. Heck, it was before Lily and James even got married. But Voldemort is having them followed because they are suspected members of the Order of the Phoenix. **

**Vindicated****- Dashboard Confessional**

Severus Snape sat in his favorite winged arm chair, staring but not seeing at the glass of wine in his hand. The room was freezing, but he didn't feel it. The grate was empty and pitch dark for there was not a light and it was nearly midnight. He considered every mistake he'd made as a youth. He could remember every minor stumble that had occurred since he was ten years-old. There were so many "If only"s. So many sins and dark deeds that he wish he were given a chance to erase. There were the two gargantuan days where he'd wished he were dead. The day he had become a Death Eater and the day he had accidently built a wall between himself and his best friend.

Both offenses had intertwined by his latest assignment. He'd spent his day following Lily Evans around for the Dark Lord. Lily Evans was still just as lovely as ever. Her proud eyes taking in all of her surroundings. They would have pierced his soul if she had spotted him in all their haunting velour. Her hair was still the wonderful and wild sweep the color of a bright copper penny. He had always wondered how it seemed to be everywhere at once. She was small and delicate yet so obviously strong and powerful. Even against his own will, the sight of her made a feeling swell inside his chest that he hadn't allowed himself to feel for a long time.

**Hope dangles on a string  
Like slow spinning redemption  
Winding in and winding out  
The shine of it has caught my eye  
And roped me in  
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing  
I am captivated  
I am Vindicated  
I am selfish  
I am wrong  
I am right  
I swear I'm right  
I swear I knew it all along**

Back when he and Lily were friends, so long ago she used to tell him how she could always see a light coming off him. Like it radiated from the center of his being. But he never believed her even when she believed in him. He just went along with whatever his other "friends" did. He didn't listen when she told him that they were bad news. That they were slowly dimming his light, diminishing the rays that shined from his soul. He had never thought that he was wrong about his Slytherin friends. He ignored all of their flaws because they hated James Potter possibly more than Lily did at the time. They were understanding of his complete and shallow hatred of the ignorant bully Potter. Lily told him to stop at the extent of only defending himself. He wanted more than that. Revenge chewed at his core. She didn't understand revenge at all and was completely against it. She wasn't in sync with his need to reciprocate upon Potter the pain that had been wreaked upon him.

He could see everything through her eyes in this moment where he missed her so much that it hurt. He wanted to throw something and scream. But he was too trapped in his own mind to even think about moving. He could see everything he had ever done reflected back at him through Lily's perfect timeless eyes. Her remedy for the situation would be redemption. All he had to do now is find a path that would lead to it. Some way to release it.

**And I am flawed  
But I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself**

He thought it was ironic that Voldemort had chosen him for that particular task. Ironic and cruel. For that day, he had watched Lily and her boyfriend go on a date to some restaurant in downtown London. He sat across the room under an invisibility cloak in a corner where no one would step on him. He had a perfect view of Lily's face and James was obscured by another table. He had to be there when a waiter showed up with a lily and a ring on a tray. An engagement ring. She had merely stared at it, while fellow diners watched with bated breath. She silently picked it up and slipped it on her finger. A perfect fit. Her hands were shaking. James leaned forward with a victorious grin and she smiled back at him as he stole a kiss. Snape's fists had been clenched so tightly that his knuckles had turned impossibly another shade of bone white.

**So clear  
Like the diamond in your ring  
Cut to mirror your intentions  
Oversized and overwhelmed  
The shine of which has caught my eye**

He had followed them home and looked away when James kissed her goodnight and began walking down the lane, his hands stuffed casually in his pockets. He whistled a song out of tune and as loud and as carelessly as possible. It wasn't the actual sound that hurt Severus's ears. It was the happiness and the joy that he was no longer just a boyfriend but a fiancé. Severus Snape's enemy was the happiest man on the earth and would be for as long as he had Lily at his side.

And now hours later, he sat in his sitting room in the pitch black and cold with his second glass of merlot in his hand. Cold wind could be heard whistling in the attic and the sound of rodent feet skittering through the walls. Soon enough a knock broke through the isolated silence. It was soft and was just loud enough to be heard. The door creaked open and at that moment, Snape didn't care whether the intruder was friend or foe. He just sat waiting to see who it was.

"Lumos." Came the soft mutter and the room was flooded with light. He looked up to meet the gaze of his uninvited guest. She was nearly five feet nine inches but not quite, bearing elbow length red hair. Her emerald colored eyes sparkled from the wand light. The soft curve of cheek met a stubborn chin. The look on her face made him feel like they were back at school all of a sudden and she had just run into him on her way to Potions.

"Hey, Sev." She whispered. He rose from his chair and looked at her.

"Hey, Lily." She rushed up to him gave him a hug, burying her head in his shoulder. He automatically hugged her back and could feel her tears through the fabric of his robes.

"I'm sorry." She looked up and her eyes begged for his forgiveness.

"Me too."

"Severus, can I ask you something?" This was the real reason she was here.

"Yes."

"Were you following us on You-Know-Who's orders?" He wasn't surprised that she had known that he was there.

"Yes." His tone hadn't changed.

"I'm really sorry, Severus." She reached up and kissed his cheek.

"Me too." He whispered.

**And rendered me so isolated, so motivated  
I am certain now that  
So turn  
Up the corners of your lips  
Part them and feel my finger tips  
Trace the moment, fall forever  
Defense is paper thin**

He kissed her lips in a chaste kiss and he felt her allow herself to kiss him back. She tasted as delicious as he had always thought she would. Like butter beer and toffee. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, pressing their bodies closer. He ended it and the world seemed to spin faster.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you, too." She muttered, pulling his collar to kiss him again. He pulled back shaking his head. He knew this was going to kill him.

**Just one touch and I'd be in  
Too deep now to ever swim against the current**

"No. He loves you. I know that you love him too. I'm not accusing you, Lily." He added when she opened her mouth to argue. "Go home. You'll get married and be happy. Don't come back, because I won't be here. But don't forget that I love you." She nodded without a word and went to the door. As she turned the knob, she faced him, but he had already turned to the armchair behind him and was gripping the back of it, leaning on his palms.

**So let me slip away  
So let me slip against the current  
So let me slip away **

"Always?" she asked.

"Always." He said, speaking over his shoulder. He heard the lock click as she disappeared for him to never see again.

**Slight hope  
It dangles on a string  
Like slow spinning redemption.**

The End


End file.
